Mission 3 Part 8

Two random people happened to be in the valley that night, whose names were Jack and Jill. Their view of the explosion is recorded here for the readers’ benefit.
Jack and Jill lied down in the grass and watched the stars every night, little did they know that this seemingly sweet and romantic habit would bring about their ugly and horrible deaths. This is their sad, and at the same time somewhat funny, story. (Hint: if you believe that romance is something sacred and that it should be cherished, the next part might possibly offend you; so you might be advised to skip it. If you want to hear the authors make fun of love, then go ahead and read all of it.)
“Look at that star,” said Jack, holding his sweetheart, Jill’s hand. “It’s so beautiful, just like you.”
“Thank you sweetie,” Jill replied, blushing, or Jack imagined that she blushed; it was too dark to tell. “No star could be as sweet as you.” To this day no one knows what Jill meant by that, as stars do not have the ability to be sweet, anymore than you or I have the ability to fly; but they say love makes on blind, so we’ll just go with it.
Suddenly, there was a loud explosion nearby. “What was that?” Jack cried, jumping up.
Jill jumped up beside him, hugging him in fright. She wasn’t actually frightened but was pretending to be so she could cling onto Jack. Why she didn’t just cling onto Jack because she wanted to and stop pretending she was frightened is unknown.
“What’s that weird cloud in the sky?” Jack asked. “It looks like a mushroom, strange.”
“Maybe it was a meteorite,” Jill suggested. They both agreed that that was what it was and were all set to skip towards the explosion hand in hand when they were suddenly blown to pieces. Thus ending their rather explosive night, no pun intended… actually it was intended, but never mind.

Back inside the helicopters, the IMF agents also saw and heard the explosion; unlike Ryan, Laz, Jack, and Jill, though, they were too far away to be harmed. Emmy jumped and gave Kayla a scared look.
“There’s no way they made it back in time, is there?” she asked, afraid to hear the answer.
Kayla shook her head sadly. “No,” she said, choking back tears. “I don’t think so.”
Timothius, who was also on the helicopter, swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “Ryan was a good agent, a darn good one. He always succeeded, no matter how much he seemed to screw things up. And Laz, well Laz was his dopey sidekick, always there to screw things up and then fix them right alongside him.”
Emmy sobbed on Kayla’s shoulder. “I can’t believe they’re gone.”
Jordan, their pilot, was also a bit shaken up. “Ryan and I went through school together,” he said, his voice cracking. “I never thought it would end like this.”
Over in the second helicopter, the other IMF agents were also mourning Ryan and Laz’s death.
“I can’t believe it,” Christophear said in shock. “I really thought they were gonna make it.”
Zach slumped downed onto the floor of the helicopter. “So did I.”
Pat sighed. “He was a good agent, good enough to fool me.”
M and Q, who were chained up inside the helicopter, were the only ones who seemed happy.
“I knew he would die eventually,” M smiled.
“Would you just shut up!” Cathy snapped. “Two men just died and you’re happy! You are a said excuse for a human being!”
“Don’t fret over them,” Michelle advised. “They won’t listen, they’re just evil.”
“Those two deserved to die anyway,” Q commented. “They were said excuses for agents, always making mistakes and smart aleck comments in serious situations. They were a couple of bumbling morons.”
Cathy angrily reached up and smacked Q across the face.
“Thank you,” Chris said.
“If she doesn’t keep quiet, I’ll do it again,” Cathy threatened. The fire in her eyes told Chris that she wasn’t joking.

A couple of days later, the whole IMF team sat in one of their own hideouts that Timothius had designed and built. Pat had left them when they reached the airport, Timothius had suggested that he come with them, but Pat disinclined.
“He wouldn’t understand,” Pat said, referring to the emperor. Timothius had to agree with that one. The emperor was not a very forgiving man.
Everyone was still broken up over Laz and Ryan’s deaths. They were watching the news at the moment to see if the explosion was to be reported.
“Here it is, quiet everyone,” Emmy shushed everyone.
“There was a nuclear explosion a couple of days ago,” the reporter informed them. “In the outskirts of , no deaths were reported as it was an unpopulated area.” The reporter paused and moved on to a different story. “Now to our main story, Britney Spears shaved her head again and has decided to donate it to the Woman’s Breast Cancer Society this time. Some experts say, however, that she would have been able to donate more hair if she had shaved her back instead…” Kayla shut off the TV.
“That’s it?” Michelle spoke for all of them.
“They didn’t even report them dead, or how they saved who knows how many lives.” Timothius shook his head.
“Some tribute to two great warriors,” Emmy agreed.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
“Who’s that?” Cathy asked.
“I don’t know,” Timothius admitted, puzzled. “I wasn’t expecting anyone, this is a secret hideout, so no one should no where it is.” He pulled his Glock out of his holster and walked towards the door. He pulled it open and on the other side were two strange men; one of them was carrying a pizza box.
“Pizza’s here!” the one carrying the pizza said, his voice sounded familiar somehow.
“I didn’t order pizza,” Timothius said. He quickly grabbed the pizza and placed it inside, however.
“Oh yeah, I forgot,” the man who was holding the pizza said. He motioned to the other guy beside him. Together, they started to tear their faces off, but, as anyone who has read any of these stories would know, they weren’t really their faces, but masks. They pulled of their masks to reveal none other than… Ryan and Laz!
Timothius stared at them for a minute, almost unable to comprehend what was before his eyes.
“Ryan and Laz!” he finally managed. The others all come rushing towards them. Ryan and Laz stepped inside and closed the door. They were immediately met with a thousand questions, hugs and even kisses. Emmy kissed both of them on the cheek and hugged them.
“I’m so glad you’re both alive!” she exclaimed, expressing everyone’s opinion.
Laz wiped her kiss of his cheek. “Oh gross, that is disgusting! Just because we almost died you don’t have to get all emotional!”
Emmy gave a mock look of hurt and surprise, “I was just glad that you two are alive.”
“But still,” Laz said, a grin spreading across his face. “A hug and now a kiss? That’s like way overboard.”
Ryan shrugged. “Who cares? We’re back, let’s party. Halo 3 anyone?”
After everyone was done welcoming them back, Ryan and Laz sank down on the couch.
“This coming back from the dead thing is a real workout,” Ryan said.
“No kidding,” Laz agreed.
“Wait,” Kayla said. “How did you guys do it?”
Ryan and Laz looked at each other and shrugged. “Should you take this one or should I?” Ryan asked.
“I’ll take it,” Laz replied. He turned towards Kayla and said, “We don’t really know; in all reality it doesn’t make any sense.”
Kayla rolled her eyes and tried to frown, but she couldn’t. “I should have known,” she laughed.
They all sat down together and started talking excitedly. It was just like you would picture a perfect ending to a story. Except not all was as it seemed. If one of the IMF agents had been watching Cathy closely, they would have noticed that she seemed a little fidgety, like she was hiding something. However, none of the IMF agents watched Cathy very closely and this went unnoticed.
“Yo,” Jordan said, suddenly hopping up. “That pizza’s getting cold. Let’s eat it.”
They all agreed to this and Timothius instantly produced a bottle of apple cider to wash it down.
“I propose a toast,” Timothius announced. “To Ryan and Laz, two agents, and dear friends, who seem to have death by the tail.”
Ryan grinned. “Yeah, Laz and I, we’ve got death’s number for sure.”
They all drank and started eating pizza, and playing Halo 3, until they were so tired that they had to go home.
By now it was dawn and the sun was just starting to come up.
Ryan went outside, beckoning Laz and Emmy to follow him. “Check out my new ride,” he said proudly. He pointed to a shiny, new Porsche, just like the old one he’d driven in . “It’s just like the other one, and most importantly, we can all ride in it.”
Emmy smiled. “That’s awesome.”
Ryan slipped on his trademark shades and gave his trademark grin. “Of course it’s awesome, it was my idea, remember?” They all laughed and the three of them hopped into the car together and rode off into the sunrise.
As they were driving, Emmy suddenly asked Ryan and Laz, “so, you two just survived almost certain death once again, what’re you gonna do next?”
Ryan and Laz looked at each other and smiled. “We’re going to Disneyland!”


Epilogue: Several months later, Timothius sat down at his desk, still running on an adrenaline high from their last mission. The last mission had been good; they hadn’t lost a single man, period. Plus, they had accomplished their goal. He sighed happily and started to clean up his desk. Suddenly, he came across a large, unmarked manila envelope with something heavy inside. Funny, he didn’t remember putting that there before. Surprised, he opened it up and shook out the contents, inside was a small handheld device, and a note from someone. Timothius picked up and read the note first. It read:

Dear Timothius,
I’m sorry to bring you into this, but you’ve always been a good friend and I didn’t know whom else to turn to. I think I’m in over my head on this one, please help me. If you don’t want any part of it, then just give the package back to me and forget you ever saw it.
Sincerely,
Cathy




The End?

A short story by Ryan Maples and Tim Danford
©2007 Maples/Danford Productions*
*A subdivision of Killer Whale Studios